The Ham Hock of Liberty

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Hummers

And here I was off to such a decent start on this blog...

Between packing to move 700 miles away and having constant problems accessing Blogspot, I haven't had the chance to post anything in a while, so I'm sure all 3 of you that visit are disappointed....

Anyway, before getting started on today's frenzy of packing and throwing junk away, I would appreciate any help furthering my sophisticated social science research project. A few years back, I developed a rather immature and vicious theory that people who own Humvees were presumed to be asses. Bill Maher described SUV behemoths as "Fuck You-mobiles," and the Hummer is pretty much the ultimate Fuck You-mobile. It's such a garish, in-your-face, unapologetic trophy of commercial consumerism that I assume anyone owning such a thing has got to have some socialization issues.

So...I now presume that anyone owning such a thing is an ass. However, in the few years that I've developed this amazingly profound theory, I haven't met any Hummer owners that weren't -actually- asses as well. Admittedly, I don't know too many of them, so I want to increase my sample size.

Anyone out there know some Hummer owners? And if so....are they asses?
Your valuable insight will help further the noble cause of science - thank you.

2 Comments:

  • Your theory is not only profound, it is also true. Last summer I saw one almost run over a woman with a baby in the stroller. She was totally in the right; he was simply not paying attention to the light. He did stop to check out if the stroller had scratched his car.

    By Anonymous bbbustard, at 5:41 PM  

  • FUCK EM. They are poseurs! All the fuck a "hummer" is, is a big bunch of flat tin on a Chevy or GMC SUBURBAN chassis. It IS NOT A MILITARY SURPLUS any-goddamned-thing. It is nothing but an "I want a big dick-mobile". Golly, do I sound angry? LOL

    By Blogger Mr. Natural, at 6:42 PM  

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